the joy of uncertainty

Life is uncertain. For us all. 

It's just sometimes we are more acutely aware of it than others. I have a sick husband with an illness that has an unpredictable outcome. Life is uncertain. We have a growing little family and big decisions to make with a whole array of unknown answers to the questions that normally help you make decisions. 

Yet, there is joy in the uncertainty. Joy in being pushed, or coaxed, closer to God. Joy in not knowing and having to hope. Joy in having to trust in something other than ourselves.

It makes us grateful for what is certain. It strips away what doesn't seem to matter anymore and it makes us focus on the little things in each day that are simple, beautiful, and as sure as the ground under our feet. 

We are certain of love, warmth, daily bread, friends, family, the sun when is shines, God, Faith and Hope. And for these things we are grateful. Each day.

hidden

My sweet son was fast asleep in the car with Father and Uncle watching on and the beautiful Welsh St Davids Cathedral beckoned me. I knew the light was magical at the far end, and the silence has to be drunk in slowly. I had my chance. "Meet me in the Cathedral..." There was something delightful about just saying those words.

I was expecting, after not very long, for the silence and deep momentary rest to be shattered by the happy echoing squeals of a two year old, filling this old sanctuary to the rafters... but none came.

And for longer than I had hoped for, I stayed blissfully hidden with sunshine on my face. 

Resting. Reading. Hoping. 

Sunday Roast

The table was laid and I found myself alone waiting for the others to return from a small adventure on the river.   I had been waiting for these little flowers to emerge and they were to be found once again but this time in the hedgerows at our countryside retreat.

making marks

Loved the colours and these marks that my middle boy made.   We had a new baby in the house and this was a precious moment with this little artist amidst the mystery and wonder of newborn days.

sunshine

It was a cold and almost dark day in Norfolk - one of those days when the sun doesn't quite rise at all. It was made truly bleak when we realised we were losing another baby - a life barely begun at nine and a half weeks. It was bleak and truly painful. 

But as I found myself on a long stretching beach on a cold October day this little bundle of sunshine still made me smile.

On the toughest of days he brings me so much joy. 

Impossible to be sad for long with him around I am daily grateful for this sweet soul.

Irresistible

Autumn marked by the coming of these irresistible colours.    Always a joy as the summer passes into crisper days.    Not yet ready to do away with all of the warmth of the sunshine, these blue sky days and colourful trees feel like an extra gift.   This was a spontaneous weekend picnic and we were collecting again, preserving the colours as best as we can.  

every evening calm

By the time our day reaches evening our home feels like every corner is filled with chaos. The kind of happy mess that only a toddler can bring to each and every available space. 

But it does often overwhelm me. These are the moments I am grateful for the evening light that daily streams through this window and brings calm to the chaos. An unreached space that I can look up at and breathe... a mobile silhouette of birds and stars somehow makes me smile every day. 

And then the big tidy up begins once the small person is finally asleep x